Soooooo. I think I finally met someone with the same goal as me: to date with intention. End game: a relationship, possibly leading to more.
Yes, technically that’s just a derivative of “Let’s see where it goes.” Literally. But, the final destination has been defined. And not as a “hook-up.”
It’s the guy with the accent. He text me as soon as he had my number and we’ve been talking for about a month now–messaging and a few really long voice calls. He’s been out of town for work, so we haven’t met in person yet. Our voice calls have ranged from a few minutes to several hours. When he can’t call, he messages.
Before I continue: Is it just me, or do words just sound better in a foreign accent?
Initial vibe: Easy to talk to, seems to be interested in ME. Wasn’t focused on talking about himself too much. Mentioned meeting up in person when he gets back–over dinner.
What we talked about:
Everything and nothing. Normal “get to know you” stuff. We have a few things in common, like music, books and movies. Food. We both really like spicy foods. There’s a rythym to our conversations, a dance.
I didn’t get too personal, though. It’s still too early. He did, a little. Learned he’s never been married, just engaged once and it didn’t work out. He didn’t elaborate and I didn’t ask. I didn’t want to know. Just in case it turned out to be baggage he needed me to unpack for him.
He asked about my perfect person–not anything I’ve been asked about before. I gave him the abbreviated version, leaving out the physical description. He’s a good looking man, but didn’t fit. Yes, I could have lied, but why?
Anyway, I asked him the same question. He started with the physical description of what he called “the perfect woman”–and I didn’t resemble her. Not even a little. Except for my eye color.
He listed out some non-superficial traits–most of which we’d established between us already and that aligned with mine. But I still circled back to his physical traits wishlist. How important was it to him?
HIM: “Oh, no, not at all more than the person–that’s just what I had pictured for a long time. Obviously, I don’t mean to imply that I’m not attracted to you–you’re very beautiful. So much so, it’s been hard to concentrate on normal conversation at times. We sync on a deeper level.”
I don’t know, though. I feel like this is what they call a red flag. He was right, though, we do sync. Not sure what ‘deeper level’ means to him, but I am basing it off how well we clicked. He’s also very cheeky, and recently started finding ways to say flirty things. They are subtle and quite arousing.
Oh, we also talked about initial boundaries. I was very firm about not crossing into the territory of physical intimacy right away. I didn’t say it like that, though. I thought it would soften the blow to add a nerdy attempt at humor:
ME: Just to be clear, sir, I will not be climbing into your bed right away. I’m a night owl and prefer to take my time getting into bed.
I didn’t expect him to play along:
HIM: That’s perfectly acceptable, Miss. As long as you’re in bed by the time I’m awake as I’m an early riser–something you may find hard to resist.
He met me on my level of nerdy awkwardness. It is such a turn on. He’s checked so many of the boxes of what I find attractive in a man’s personality.
We have our first date this weekend when he comes home. I’m nervous and excited–what if our chemistry doesn’t translate in person?
Catch ya later,
Me
