Guess who’s back? Besides me. 

Aussie guy! I was really surprised to hear from him–almost half a year later. 

At first, we just messaged back and forth. He sent me the sweetest, heartfelt apology for having to break off our arrangement like he did.

“I’m so sorry for the way I hurt you. I couldn’t tell you I was leaving because of what I do. But I thought about you every single day. I’ve missed you, our talks, and other things 😉 Could we maybe meet up? Talk? See where it goes?”

Odd choice of words there at the end, but in context, I’ll allow it. 

I went over to his place and we talked for a long time. This time, I asked all the questions. Turns out Little Romeo was completely wrong on his analysis of Aussie guy’s reason for ditching me. Kind of.  And I’m kind of mortified that I spent so much time anlyzing something that was really a nothing–and he had not stopped me.

Briefly: He had to leave for 6 months, and didn’t think I’d wait for him. He didn’t want to get blindsided if I didn’t–which, without going into his personal story details–is kind of what happened with the ex he told me about. 

It did make me feel better. I can understand. Living and working in a military town, I’ve seen and heard a lot of stories. He had a valid concern. Still have questions, but I’m not sure what they are–there’s nagging right at the corner of my mind. 

One thing I asked him to be clear about is us. Obviously, I didn’t expect he’d say we’re officially boyfriend and girlfriend so soon after coming back together. But, I did want to know if that is something he wanted and can see with me. 

Now that I think about his answer, I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it. It was long-winded, he said a lot of things, and I just wanted a yes or a no. I’m not unreasonable to the point I’d hold him hostage to a ‘yes.’ Although a ’no’ would have seen me walking out the door.

Without regrets or hurt feelings. I value honestly.

Overall, he said yes. He did want a relationship eventually. And he wanted to explore that as we spend time together. A little vague, but aren’t all men that way when talking about feelings? 

Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I let him have me that night. We were already making out, after talking for so long. It felt really good to be in his arms again. And it was amazing.

I guess he did miss me and wanted to catch up–so to speak.  

We have plans to spend the next few weekends together at his place, which I’m fine with. He’s put together a playlist of movies to watch, books to share and a winelist to have on hand. There’s a festival coming up I’m hoping to get him go to with me, it’s actually not far from where he lives.

The messages he’s been sending in between have been very distracting. Way past flirty. Very dirty–something he didn’t do before, and I dig it. He said it’s to get me ready for the weekend. Oh, I’m so ready. 

Yes. I’m wondering if I’m letting this move too fast. Going from no contact to full contact so soon after reconnecting. But I’m not getting any younger–and neither is he, so he says, and we’ve been together before. We’re just picking up where we left off. Like pro-rated time. I’m making that a thing.

Oh, wait. We left off with him ditching me with a lie, because he didn’t want to get his feelings hurt. But mine did get hurt. He did apologize though, and made up for it. Over and over and over again. 

I have to stop overanalyzing. It’s kind of stoking my anxiety. 

To quote my least favorite phrase from dating profiles, “I’m just going to see where this goes.” 

Here I go again,

Me